Happy Joy

I called in sick today. I am never one to miss if I don't absolutely have to. (Insert negative self - talk : ending previous sentence with preposition. Ugh!) But today, I didn't absolutely have to miss. Yes, I was beyond beyond beyond exhausted. And yes, I woke up sweating and feeling hot with a slight fever. And yes, I was achey all over. But I wasn't actively "sick." I don't have the swine flu. But I called work and said I was sick and that I was sorry and that I'd be back Monday. (I work M, T, Th). I slept ALL day, from 11PM last night until about 2PM today. Straight. (Okay, I got up for food twice.) I think my body needed sleep more than it ever has in the past. I feel ... happy. It is absolutely incredible what sleep can do for the body. I feel so refreshed.

I decided that I MUST get out of this constant stress, this panicky mindset full of anxiety that hangs over me like the most thunderous of dark clouds, or I will simply crash and burn. Crashing and burning does not have to be inevitable.

I am trying to reframe the way I perceive events in my life, and I'm relearning to choose joy. For example, rather than focusing on the 'scariness' of presenting at the Relay For Life Exec. Board meeting last night, I focused on the awesome opportunity I had to share with these wonderful, high-achieving men and women about Teach For America and how they can effect change on our nation's schools. I was still nervous and I still stuttered once or twice, but overall, it was an enjoyable experience.

I am remembering that ... Joy is an attitude, a state of mind. Happiness is circumstantial.
I might not always be happy, but I will choose joy.

Here's to choosing joy, enjoying the happiness that ebbs and flows, and taking care of ourselves so that we may serve, love, and empower others.