I feel ... this.

"Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress (STS), is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. It is common among individuals that work directly with trauma victims such as nurses, psychologists, and first responders. It was first diagnosed in nurses in the 1950s. Sufferers can exhibit several symptoms including hopelessness, a decrease in experiences of pleasure, constant stress and anxiety, sleeplessness or nightmares, and a pervasive negative attitude. This can have detrimental effects on individuals, both professionally and personally, including a decrease in productivity, the inability to focus, and the development of new feelings of incompetency and self-doubt."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compassion_fatigue

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Yes. 

I feel broken,
and defeated.

These kids have my heart, but my heart is not big enough or strong enough to protect them.

Maybe I'm finally learning that I am not enough.

Lord, have mercy. 

I wish my daddy never got shot.

Tuesday Morning

"I wish my daddy never got shot.  'Cuz he can't really do nothing now.  He in a wheel chair." - {T} 

"Me and {I} we live together. Sometime she be crying all day and all night 'cuz she miss her father. Her father in jail. He been there for a long time, since she was a baby.  I miss my daddy, too.  My daddy got shot." -  {T} 

{L} came in this morning hopping around like a grasshopper.  He wouldn't stop bouncing. I asked him how his morning was, and he said, "I ran out my medicine!!!" (Sigh). Okay, {L}, you can still have a good day. He promptly placed himself inside of one of the breakfast crates, which can't be more than 1.5 ft by 1.5 ft. He is so, so thin ... and wiry. I picked up the breakfast crate with  {student} packed inside of it and delivered him to his homeroom.  He sat balled up in the crate for the duration of morning meeting. 

Selah

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; 
Pour out your heart before Him; 
God is a refuge for us. Selah." 
- Psalm 62:8