Words

Lately, I've felt like I have been messing up the words. It's not like I have been messing up the words to a song, or misspelling or phrasing oddly the words of an essay, but I've been messing up the words I speak to people. I'm just not saying them right. I have accidentally hurt a couple people's feelings in the past week or so. Operative word - accidentally.  [I've put my foot in my mouth.]  @*#%&.  I should, perhaps, take a vow of silence for a day or two so I remember to think before I talk.  Or rather, I should remember my sincere prayer a few years ago to learn humility better, and recognize this recent phenomenon as an extended answer to that prayer.  Or perhaps, the truth is that I can sometimes be a selfish person who messes things up and hurts people.   My first inclination is to run away from the tension and hide away in the busyness of teaching and grad school and running and just let time pass so that it all falls away.  But, just yesterday, I prayed to learn vulnerability and community and trust and authenticity better.  Looks like that prayer was answered right away.